she writes — you read.


thinking of you drabbles | the way you make me feel #7

set in may 2007 | drabble: frantic | word count: 3,300+

KC

You’re in suite 804 for real? Set up or just a coincidence?

CB

Coincidence I guess. Are you here?

KC

LOSER lmfao open the door plz

I was too damned anxious to climb out of bed to get to her. I was already in a good mood, and she had the ability to make it better. I heard the familiar pattering of the newly gifted puppy as she followed me to the door and I smiled at Kacie sliding in through the unlocked door.

“Hi.” She greeted me softly. I hadn’t seen Kacie since Australia, and between then and now, she’d graduated, packed up half of her stuff and sent it here, and finally, had a summer to spend with me.

I instantly picked her up, feet hovering over the floor in a crushing hug as soon as she closed the door behind herself. I was determined to make sure this summer didn’t end up weird between the two of us like she anticipated.

“Don’t just hi me, what’s up? How you doin’? I see you made it back to me just fine…” I was rambling as I looked at her, really looked at her, and once I did, I couldn’t stop looking.

The look on her face made me roll my tongue out and swipe my lips because I wasn’t the only one looking. She looked so fucking cute too, her hair was growing and on top of her head, and I could see her stomach peeking through the slits and cuts in her shirt underneath the cut off hoodie she had on. I wanted to resist instantly gripping her hips as I eyed her from head to toe, but I knew I couldn’t.

She wasn’t surprised –she leaned in like she was almost expecting it– when I came closer and picked her up again, crushing her against the door, just really, really happy to fucking see her.

“Fuck, are you really this happy to see me?” She questioned curiously between moans I pressed my lips against her neck and mouth until she pinched me and forced me to pull away from her and nod.

I gave her space as I watched her arch her back and steady her hand against the center of my chest, glancing at me.

“Obviously.” I tilted my head to the side, running my fingertips down her side, pulling her back to me.

“Figures, I think only I can make you act like a dog in heat at all times. C’mon, I’m here now, what’s up with you?” She questioned, running her fingers across the nape of my neck as I glanced at her and shrugged.

“Don’t just shrug, find something for me to do, please…. What do you want to happen now that your begging ass has me all to yourself?” She teased and scolded me in the same breath as she let me go, eyeing me wearily.

I didn’t care what happened. For the moment, my schedule was clear until I had to start doing interviews, which left me with time to kill.

In the not so immediate future, there were only a handful of interviews lining up before the BET Awards, and this second round of promo to announce Stomp The Yard coming to DVD. I also dropped the first single from Exclusive, and was pretty excited to shoot the video too.

I was pretty much on top of the future shit, but right now? I wanted to spend time with the person in front of me.

“Or will we not be like this for long? Where is everybody, anyway?” She raised her eyebrow as she unhooked her iPod headphones from tangling around her earring and started glancing around.

My Mama and Christine were back in Virginia for the remainder of the week, Pat was in Queens, Robyn was gone on a promo spree for GGGB in the UK, Barry was in Harlem, and my main crew had celebrated enough with me and had all dispersed to their various hometowns until the Wall to Wall shoot.

Everyone was accounted for, and I was alone and she knew that time was dedicated to her.

“You’re by yourself?” She glanced around at the room I’d spent the last week in and I nodded, watching her peel herself out of the cut off sweatshirt she had on.

I resisted the urge to touch her as she sat it on the couch and I grabbed her hand instead of groping her, and started pulling her through the suite and back to my bedroom.

“So where’s that girlfriend of yours?” She questioned as I watched her step out of her black vans and peek around corners, and stick her head in the bathroom door. I sucked my teeth and pulled her close to me, narrowing my gaze at her.

“The UK. Where’s that boyfriend of yours? Does he know you’re going to spend the summer trying to ignore the fact that you’re in love with me?” That granted me a lip biting kiss as she rolled her eyes and bent to rub Diamond’s head.

“Don’t be a dick. Okay, so… lemme see the pictures from your parties.” She requested as she sat her iPod down and the sounds of Cupid’s Chokehold almost deafened me once I stuck the buds in my ear and retrieved my Canon, passing it to her as I watched her get comfortable in the bed.

She laid on her back and held the camera away from her face as I popped the button on her shorts and she glanced at me, brushing my hand away before pulling the camera closer and clucking her tongue at the array of pictures.

I pressed my lips against her thigh quickly as she thumped me and I stood up, backing away from her with my hands up in surrender as she swiveled her hips and went back to looking at the various pictures.

“I wish you coulda came,” I exhaled as she pouted and scrunched up her brow as she turned the camera to me, questioning me silently about a picture with Robyn being stretched out in my lap as she held Diamond in her lap.

“She’s her gift.” I told her as she hummed, and went back to going through the images.

“This lil’ dinner party at Mr. Chow’s seemed cool, and Avalon seemed uh…interesting.” Kacie concluded as she rolled over on her stomach and passed me back the camera as Diamond wiggled near her legs and she ran her fingers across her ears.

“I know all the hoe shit went down at the 40/40 club though,” Kacie glanced at me in amusement as I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her.

“Nah, not really.” I shook my head again as she scoffed in disbelief. I sat Diamond on the floor, watching her circle around before collapsing on the carpet, and she watched me crawl next to her for a second time.

“Teyana told me about that hoe shit Yami tried to pull though. I told you, you can’t just put that thing in anyone. Hoes don’t know how to act.” She nibbled on her bottom lip and trapped a yawn as I wrapped my hands around her stomach and gripped her sides.

I rolled my eyes.

There’d been a lot of girls that I’d fucked there, but I didn’t think much of it, mainly because Robyn was pretty close to me all night, and compared to those girls, she was like a Lamborghini on a lot full of used Toyotas, Hondas, and Fords.

“So she ain’t try and give you brain? I know Teyana wouldn’t lie to me. She was on one.” Kacie jabbed me in the chest as I rolled my eyes and waved her off.

“You’d probably be on something too, so don’t lay up here and try to front.” I scolded her as she arched her back against the mattress and gave me the finger.

My phone started to buzz across the table and Tina’s name popped up on the display as I hovered my finger over the decline button and turned back to Kacie, who oohed dramatically at me.

“Tina gon’ get in that ass when she finds out you’ve lured me up here. I don’t even know why you’re wildin’.” She teased as I sucked my teeth and watched her run her thumb against the diamond link around my neck as I twisted up my lips at her.

“Tina just mad ’cause she heard me when I told you what I wanted to do to you when you finally brought your ass out here,” I rolled my eyes, strumming across her hipbone with my fingers. “She’s probably mad ’cause I didn’t offer to make her see stars either, but oh well.”

“You are so fucking mannish.” She clucked her tongue as I shrugged and sat up, dipping my fingers into the cuts in her under shirt and poking her skin.

“So, you gon’ hang with me tonight?” I licked my lips as she raised her eyebrow and I patiently waited for her to respond. I rolled my eyes as she picked up her iPod and scrolled across the screen with a shrug.

“Babe, c’mon. We can stay here if you want to…” I suggested as she smiled and I pressed my lips against the skin peeking out underneath her unbuttoned pants as she sat the device down and swallowed hard.

“You want me to basically say yes to being in your bed until I pass out, huh?” Her eyebrow raised and I nodded, maneuvering myself to pin her against the bed.

“I missed you so fucking much.” I told her, not trying to play down how I felt at all. She clucked her tongue softly and pressed her lips against mines and pulled me closer to her, nudging my mouth open with her tongue.

“I know.” She murmured and I shook my head from side to side, pressing my forehead against hers.

“Bullshit, I felt like I was losing it without talking to my best friend.” I murmured as she laughed and sucked her teeth.

“I talked to you almost every other day, shut up.” She blushed, and I sighed.

“Especially when you kept calling me talkin’ bout my voice calmed you down…B told me you were having panic attacks though. Why?” Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

“I don’t wanna talk about it now,” I tried to coax her out of it as she glanced at me in disbelief, still threading her fingertips down my neck.

“You sure there’s nothing wrong though? You keep having them, they could be stress related.” She tried to reason with me as I shook my head and pushed her shirt up, trying to effectively dissuade her from the topic.

“I swear to you, as long as I have you right here with me, I’m not gonna have a panic attack of any kind.” I swore as I felt her lock her leg behind mines and pull me closer to her.

“I’ll take your word for it for now, but we’ll see.” She tilted her hips up, making mines mold against hers instinctively.

“Good.” I smiled, snaking my hand around her thigh and pulling it around me, sighing into her chest as I heard her heartbeat.

“You trust me, right?” I inquired mostly out of curiosity as she hummed in response, but I pulled back, curious as to how she looked as I asked her again.

“Yes, for some unknown reason.” Kacie teased, making me furrow my brow at her.

“Bullshit, you know why.” I scoffed as I felt her hands snaking down my back, settling on the rise of my ass.

“The only reason I trust you is because I know your intentions are flawed. I don’t know what you’re gonna do when we’re old and grey.” She teased as I pushed her shirt up, raking her stomach with my fingertips.

“You’re gonna write my life story and read it to our grandkids, that’s what you’re gonna do. And I’ma be a songwriter still, or hell, ion’ think I’ll be too old to pop it every now and then.” I mused as she laughed and shook her head.

“Hell no. I don’t wanna have to put icy hot on your joints every night!” She grimaced, and I laughed.

“That’s cool, I know something else you wouldn’t mind putting your hands on every night anyway.” I shifted against her as she rolled her eyes and tilted her head back, opening her mouth to say something, but shortly closing it instead.

“You’re fucking ridiculous,” My comment earned me a slap on the ass as I grabbed her hips and started creeping my hands up to tickle her until she laughed and almost kicked me in the stomach.

“You gon’ chill?” I questioned as she mimicked me, making me clamp my legs around hers and continue tickling her until she started panting and crawled out of the bed, tearing up.

“God, you gon’ make me piss my pants,” she sighed as Diamond groggily lifted her head and sighed as well, making Kacie groan softly.

“Come back to this bed, woman.” I extended my hand as she sighed and sat, running her fingers down her face for extra measure.

“You should spend the night,” I murmured in her ear as she laid back, shifting her shorts back on her hips.

“Where am I gonna sleep?”

“Why are you asking stupid questions?” I gestured towards the area she was already lying in as she clucked her tongue at me.

“Have you had sex in this bed?” She curiously inquired as I shook my head no, because honestly, I hadn’t made it that far.

“Do you want to?” She questioned as I licked my lips and made a noncommittal sound.

“You offering?” I rubbed my hands together as she clucked her tongue and scoffed.

“No, this Chinese lady-man downstairs in the lobby was telling me how you were cute, and I figured you could get your nut off and spare me.” She seriously stated and then laughed as I grabbed her hips and started tickling her again.

I pushed her down on the bed and felt her push up at me, kind of a trickier feat to ignore since I’d admittedly gotten hard while she kept squirming. Her body reacted instantly, but her eyes clouded.

“I’ve been trying not to maul your little ass, but you’re kind of making it hard when you sound like that underneath me.” I gasped as I felt her hand inch between us, pushing against the elastic of my basketball shorts.

I was trying to hold off.

I really was, because if there was anything I wanted to do, it was for me and her to figure out some sort of understanding before the summer progressed, knowing that this would be my busiest time, and it would be easier for Robyn to latch on to me than her.

I gave in then, and kissed her, harder than I had intended, but her hands were clutching at my shoulders, and her tongue was in my mouth. Why back off?

We were frantic and this was fucking bad, and it kept running through my mind that I was being fucking stupid and selfish while we kept on, and her lips were stealing the last shred of my soul that she didn’t already own.

I sat up, letting her pull my shirt off, letting her do what she wanted. Physical contact was the main damned thing that kept us as close as we were, even if it was basically playing with fire.

I needed her. All of her. And I wasn’t sure if it would fuck things up forever, or what would happen, and then she gave me all of her when she said, “I need more.”

I pulled away, breathing deep, trying to clear my head, but she was having none of it, and she pushed me down on the bed, straddling my hips. She bit me, little nipping kisses on my neck, my jaw, my ear, knowing how crazy that always made me.

There were hard teeth and soft lips and hands everywhere. I slid her shirt off and she dug her fingernails into my shoulder as I circled my tongue around her neck, trying to get myself to chill, but it felt like I had been injected with something that gave me too much strength and too much power.

I flipped her on her back and jerked her shorts off, kissing and licking at every inch of skin, lingering when she gasped and laughing when she smacked at my hands for wandering into ticklish places.

“Kacie, damn…” I groaned when I moved my lips to her neck. My hand went under the protectiveness of her underwear and I rubbed my thumb lightly across her clit.

“You like that don’t you?” I asked as I brushed over it again.

“All you’re going to do is tease me all night?” She questioned, eyes closed, lips moving as she swallowed hard.

“What do you want me to do since you’re feelin’ bold?” I questioned as she arched her back and pushed herself up, looking at me.

I hated that I couldn’t read minds, because if I could, I would be able to know if she really wanted to go through with this. I wasn’t too sure; it was more of a possibly maybe type of thing, so when I saw her hesitate for just a second, I didn’t judge her for it.

There’s always been this invisible line between us, something that I know that we are dangerously close to crossing, especially while doing this, and I don’t want it. I want it, yeah, but not like this.

The thought of taking that next step kind of terrifies the fuck out of me now, slowly making me back down. Somehow, in some way, she’s become a little more than just my best friend and I can’t lose that. I’m not sure what I would do if I did.

That’s why my next words hurt me, making my chest tense up as I say them, and mean them.

“Babe, you don’t want this.” I pull her close to me, shaking my head, trying to convince her that it’s not worth it.

Maybe because I know I don’t want to fuck things up, and at the same time, actually going through with having sex now, in a situation like the one I’m in, would fuck up everything.

“I really, really care about you, and this will fuck up everything. Think about it.” To say that I care is just a fucking cop out.

I’m possessive, selfishly infatuated, sensationally addicted, and I think I love her, and it’s a scary feeling, especially when it’s split down the middle. I’m not alone with this feeling, and I know this, but…

I can’t say this shit to her face. It’s bad enough we shouldn’t be here doing this because even though it’s what we’re used to, we’re pretty damned close to tipping the boat over. I don’t know if she even can muster how deep I’ve fallen for her and how desperate I am to become more than just a best friend.

“It’s never the right time, huh?” She nibbles on her lip, too frustrated to cry.

I flinch, and this time when I start having a panic attack, I don’t call anyone. I sit in the bathroom on the floor and she gives me ice and apologizes, kissing the side of my face and holding my hand.

It was then that I knew for certain; my existence was totally fucked.


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Awww he was so excited to see her! And they were also flirting dangerously and they were close to humping. So while he’s with Rih he’s with K as well? Damn Chris you really got it like that? I just don’t want Kacie to get her feelings hurt. And that’s why she always has her guard up.

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