she writes — you read.

thinking of you x 15

a/n: so my computer was being a cunt the other day and didn’t want to act right, so this is extra long.  Also, GO SEE THINK LIKE  MAN! It was fucking amaaaaazing. and oh fuck, that femslash warning has returned. It’s almost time to leave Vegas! 😦

been over, been over this before
been over and over
been over this before

And over, been over this before
so over this.
Been over this.
So over this.
Been over this.
Over this before


“I think I want to marry Stormi one day.” Ethan rambles as we watch a streak of lightening blanket the sky and he swirls a heart on her hip in ketchup, which makes me laugh lowly.

He’s my partner in crime along with Alex when it comes to these pranks seeing as how everyone is either passed out or bullshitting. We’d been slowly hitting up people as they fell asleep, and so far, we had five causalities. Joelle, Stormi, Braxton, Sabrina, and Melissa were all sleep, and it was a war zone in here, everyone working sporadically in order to fuck each other up.

Kacie and Barry were helping at first, but now Kacie’s playing truth or dare with Robyn and taking shots. Barry’s on this whole we should totally fuck outside because I mean it’s Vegas and if you can risk it on an airplane why not in the rain bullshit that has me wondering how long it’s gonna be until he actually succeeds at it.

I watch him swirl the letters of the word love across her thigh and she moves, making us both stiffen up, but she doesn’t wake up. I can tell from the way he looks at her that he loves her, and it’s definitely a look I know I’ve given Kacie and Robyn both myself, a few times.

“You really think so?” I question, passing him another condiment to paint with as he nods and flips the top on the mustard open.

“We’re soulmates man, it’s destiny.”  He swirls a yellow diamond across her hipbone and shrugs softly, glancing towards the kitchen.

“You see yourself being stuck with Kacie for eternity, right?” He asks and I lick my lips, nodding because it’s the truth, I do.

“Eternity is worth it, right?” He ponders and I nod, slowly but surely.

It’s not my first time going down that ‘I can see myself with you forever’ path with her. Third time, actually. The third time is supposed to be a charm, right?

The first time has to be the dumbest fucking attempt because I was twenty one years old and begging during sex doesn’t really count. Neither does the second time, when I was trying to convince her to come back to me in LA. The second time actually could have been legit if I wasn’t so fucking go-for-broke desperate, but in the end, it doesn’t count either because I didn’t have a ring but I had a box, and that’s something, right?

I’ve kicked around the idea in my head a lot. like, a lot, and I haven’t admitted it to anyone but when her dad tried to out me and I copped out in New York with a charm bracelet instead, to me, that was a start. I’m trying to keep my shit together, and work harder, as Robyn has inflicted this little motto in me, but my biggest fear is losing her, and I don’t want to do it.

I really don’t want to think about life without her. Continue reading