she writes — you read.

a/n: drabbles are almost over ;( ! here’s a lengthy read.

set in april 08′ | drabble: destructive | word count: 3,600+

“You’ve read it though, right? She says relationships make her insecure when it’s not a serious thing,” Barry places the magazine with Robyn’s face on the cover over my eyes as I roll them and shake my head.

“She says she has something just physical going on and that’s about the only way things make sense.” Barry continues to read, and I exhale, sitting up and stopping.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I groan, partly because it’s hard to call this relationship purely physical when she helps calm me down with words and not just orgasms.

JD sucks his teeth, “You’re just a fuck buddy to her, obviously.”

I go up another set in weight and groan. “Maybe she’s just deflecting her feelings.”

Maybe. We did stuff, and her birthday and Jamaica was fucking amazing, but all the things that we did do, it just delayed the sex. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s really was all she stuck around for: the sex. We know that’s the backbone of this relationship, and I think that I should be worried about that.

I think I want something more out of her than just amazing sex and good chemistry, once we get underneath the layers of our mingling tempers, attitudes, and other priorities. I just don’t know if I’m fully ready to give up on everything else.

“She’s shady.” Helen grumbles from across the room, on the treadmill. I shake my head.

“Yeah she is, because when a female puts it like that, it’s kinda fucked up. Insecurities ain’t shit to be played with,” Maya murmured as I stared back at my phone and then holstered myself back down to the weights.

“Maybe ya’ll should just get serious…” She hints, and I suck my teeth again.

Continue reading →

set in jan’ 08 | drabble: angry | word count: 3,500+

“We’re taking you to the airport and I’ll be waiting on you in Jamaica like we talked about, babe…” Robyn smiled at me as I kept my hand locked in hers and moved towards the SUV.

A couple of days had passed since NYE ’08, and the feelings I had about this year started off very interestingly. Well, for starters, after coming to a point in which being around each other felt no longer forced, I stopped denying my feelings about Robyn that seemed to grow after Vegas.

She caved totally too, or at least got off of the whole business related aspect of it all. She genuinely wanted to be with me, and I was still figuring out how to go about accepting it, knowing how her attitudes clashed with my temperance.

It wasn’t a surprise, and it worked in our favor, like Tina had stated, but it was still being denied all over, and slowly ironed out. She was on tour with me for a few dates, and I liked our chemistry a lot to extend it off the stage.

It pleased Tina enough to give me space and pull her rein in on Maya, which was definitely necessary. I was over her the first time she stepped up on me, trying to pry into my personal relationships, which wasn’t an aspect of her just doing her job as a pr agent, but whatever.

We were about as cordial as we could be, at least to each other anyway, and it felt like a small victory. We were together, everyone accepted it, and Kacie gave me space. We were taking this break seriously, with the exception of her hanging out during the UCP dates, but not on the same level as the first tour.

Bailey’s presence was strong in the tour dates she did roll through for, even though they parted at night. It was annoying as hell, but it made my distance from her worth it. It eased temptation too, but in between sets, I made sure to find her.

I had to make things comfortable for the dates she told me that she could make, so Robyn’s hologram eased any drama during those few sets. I also had to make sure she would hang around long enough to spend time with me alone before we kept going.

Bailey didn’t like that, and caught on quick, but he knew the arrangement, which apparently had gotten updated to ‘in an open relationship with’ on Facebook, according to Barry’s view of her profile.

In the end though, I dragged her through VIP, backstage, dressing rooms, put her in suites or on the side stage until she got aggravated by the treatment and I let her go. I don’t think she’d want to fuck with me now though.

Especially not after seeing the picture I uploaded to MySpace earlier.

­She knows us well to know that my latest tattoo matches Robyn’s, despite the fact that me and Kacie already share two matching tattoos ourselves, it’s still a fucking statement that makes me feel weird about flaunting.

I’m all for new developments, a new relationship, but fuck…

…I miss her, and I’m not sure if my attempt to get us to spend time together will work, considering that this ‘relationship’ is the only thing she said would truly make her give me space.

I’m a bit curious about how the next weeks will pan out, especially with Robyn taking another leave, this time to shoot a video, and Kacie deciding to venture out for the tour ending in a few days.

I guess I’ll have to just wait and see.

“I’m so tired of these lights, they’re about to give me a migraine…” Robyn complained as I kept my eyes out the window as the paparazzi caught up with us, targeting her especially seeing as how she wore my jacket.

We don’t talk about us. We don’t put a label on it because it’s been a shifting progression, and there’s not really much to talk about. We fall head first into recording together and writing, even if none of it will ever see the light of day, I like the experience.

We just mesh, you know? I can escape from my celebrity problems with her by my side, even though everyone has something to say about it. We really complement each other’s celebrity side.

I like it.

“Put your head on my shoulder.” I lowly murmur and she does, and rubs her eyes as we drive deeper into darker streets and away from the bright city lights.

My mind wanders with the quietness of the backseat, save for the occasional phone ringing here and there. Barry’s not around this time – Mercedes gave birth to a son, and I don’t know when he’ll find his way back out with me – so I don’t really have anyone to really talk to.

Without even trying to, I wonder exactly how long she will be gone for this time. I’m afraid of the answer, afraid to know that she will be gone for weeks, leaving me alone to deal with everything; leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I could make a phone call, but not with Robyn pressed up against me. I have enough respect between them for that not happening twice in a lifetime.

So I just sit, and watch the city roll by outside the window. Continue reading →